Ellen Ewing Sherman

Who is Ellen Boyle Ewing Sherman?  

Childhood playmate, foster sister, friend, confidante, advisor and wife of William Tecumseh Sherman. Like her husband she was intelligent, vivacious, opinionated and strong willed. Together they had 8 children, two died –one in infancy– both during the Civil War. Theirs were no ordinary friendship and marriage. It’s a wonder how their lifelong marriage flourished despite differences of opinion, preferences and tastes as well matters of deeply held beliefs. Biographers offer explanations; useful but insufficient. Most agree that Sherman, would not be the person he was without her. Few women would have so many roles as Ellen. That fact alone makes for an interesting story. The complexity of Ellen and Sherman’s interwoven lives created a dynamic force that shaped not only their family but also the destiny of our nation.

Eleanor Boyle Ewing was born in Lancaster, Ohio in 1824. The daughter of  Thomas Ewing a prominent figure in Ohio-Washington politics and his wife Maria Boyle also from an influential family of Irish descent and unabashedly Roman Catholic in times when there was no small prejudice against the ‘papist’ religion.  The Ewings and Shermans were family friends and neighbors.  When Sherman’s father died suddenly, his mother unable to provide for her eleven growing children alone, gratefully sent her nine year old son ‘Cump’ (as he was called by his family and close friends) to be part of the Ewing household. The Ewings welcomed him warmly and provided for young Sherman in the same way they raised their own children. There were high expectations in education and work ethics but also an abundance of love and affection. Maria Ewing insisted that Cump not only received the same Catholic religious instruction as her children but also be baptized. Sherman later wrote that he was already Christened in infancy and given the name William by his own parents –in addition to name originally given to him by his father in honor of the locally famed Shawnee leader Tecumseh.  But Mrs. Ewing leaving nothing to chance arranged to have a traveling priest baptize nine-year-old Cump on the feast of St. William. 

Ellen, and her siblings and eventually her children also inherited Mrs. Ewing’s religious views. Interestingly it seems that while family members were relentless in their efforts to persuade Sherman to join their religious ranks he with the same stubbornness refused, preferring to adhere to his own belief compass. And yet their loyalty, and endearing affection for one another held fast. “All is fair in love and war” as the saying goes.

Ellen’s and Cump’s different faith perspectives shaped their outlook and approaches to life. Perhaps their lives together were like navigating a canoe in different wind and water currents each paddling with the stronger stroke at different times; often steering in different directions but occasionally working in unison. Ironically adversity was the force that brought these two closer together. Prominent among these was the sudden death of their eldest son Willie who contracted yellow fever after Ellen had brought four of their young children to visit Sherman’s encampment in Mississippi in the summer of 1863 during a depressingly low point of Sherman and his army Vicksburg campaign.  She had hoped that the visit would revise her husband’s spirit. Indeed it did; nine year old Willie and his father enjoyed the time together riding horseback through the camp and inspecting the troops.  All seemed to have gone well until the return trip home via a river steamboat when sickness was spreading among the passengers. Young Willie was dead in two days. Neither of the parents fully recovered from the loss of their son and deep grief remained with them throughout their lives.

There’s still much to glean from their yin-yang fiery relationship. Maybe I’ll do so on further musings. Here I’ll let their youngest son– my great-grandmother’s brother have the last word:

“Between my father and mother there were, of course many differences; but never did their differences interfere with unwavering mutual respect, consideration and affection. With my mother’s faith and its transmissions to their children, my father was always content. And her judgment and advice were always respected by him and frequently deferred to with consequences that entitled her to much of the credit for his successful career.

P. Tecumseh Sherman 1935, Introduction to Ellen Ewing Sherman by Anna McAllister